Poprocks and Coke

Life is getting better n better.

haha.

perhaps thts the case for me
cos i've just gone through a
whole post-pms, post-anger
stage.

just yest i felt so angry.
so agitated n irritated by
everyone around me.
its almost as if everyone
around me r flies.

haha. hmm. literal meaning?
i thnk not.

so.. perhaps im feeling better
cos my mind has relaxed.
after goin thru a 'rough' few
days, i guess today is considered
a really good day. haha. no
stress.

n.. im not thnking too much abt
certain probs. more lyk other
pple's probs. i jus 'lek one
corner'. haha. wat a right
attitude! :P

Also...
my luck is beginning to change
i guess. today has been really
relaxed for me. the idea of
studying or focusing on other
thngs jus totally burst my
bubble of happiness.

hah. yeah. i still thnk of my
studies. but i cldnt care less.

let my happiness last for at
least one day. or shall i say.
hmm. 12 hrs. haha.

yes. alot of laughter by me.

well. i feel more alive today.

hmmm. i jus feel glad. hah.

ok la..
perhaps there are other
influences as well.

Ok. i have to admit it.
someone made my day ah!

haha. well, thanks so much!
im glad we went out.
cos i feel tht i made a new
fren. so.. its fun ah! :)
plus he's super nice! heh.

n lyks green day :D

but i ddnt only go out with him..
my cousin followed. n erm. lets just
say.. i ddnt relli tell her tht
he wld be coming along. hehe.

hmmm. cheeky me.

:P

anyways.. moving on..
i totally feel puzzled by certain
things.

There are certain similarites n
differences between pple i noe.
I compare pple i noe with each
other. n i get bemused.

i dono.. everyone has their flaws.
but whose are more tolerable?

but its not only abt knowing e
other person's flaws.
but its about the feelings u have
for the other.

arrgg.

to be more specific but
still not givin exact details...
(heh. malu to tell every single
thng ah)

i just cant forget the past.
when there's a present, u still
reflect on the past. U still love
the past n want to enjoy every
memories of the past.

The past will still remain the first.
n the present cant change the
past. The past still remains
unsolvable n i just cant
understand the past.

should we dwell on the past?
and be ignorant of the present.
The past is too precious. Even
tho I know that the past will
never see me as more than a fren.

I'm just a fren of the past.
As time passes by, we will find tht
the past is lyk this. Its just our friend.
It fills our memories. It is our
first love. We can never forget our
past. We can never change our past.

But I feel that the past might
have forgotten me. The past did not
console me. It did not make me
feel better. Perhaps it might all
change. But i don't want it too.

The thought of me living the present
brings me great happiness.
But, the thought of me dwelling on
the past, makes me disappointed
and rejected.

Yet I know...
that underneath it all.. even tho I
try to move on from the past, that
I can never forget the past and will
still love the past.

*Vdae Special* - Another Sentimental Arguement

The season of love is in!

Love for me is always out.

Haiz.

haha.

But I still have my fun.

With my frens.
My surroundings.
With you..

"The friendship we made is
a waste of our time?" - AAA

Hmm.

Perhaps it is.
But I will just put that aside.
Actually I cherish our frenship.
BUT.. argh. its just too intense
to thnk abt.

Ok. i know i sound random.
cos... no one noes who the HELL im
toking about. ok. fuck it. nvm.

SO.. lets see. lets get bck to
daily events.

So far.. it has been a great 2 days.
Yesterday night was great.
It was the 'Vdae Mini Concert'!
yay! *claps*claps*

haha.

i played orite ah. i didnt play my best.
cos someone stup made me
nervous lyk hell wen im actually
not. argg. :) and yet.. hmmm.

anyways.. yeah. i played ok only.
i cld play better. tot i
cld impress... people... but..
wen i tink abt it.. pple wont be.
"cos no one wants to hear a
drunkard fool". yeah thts how i
felt. low self esteem speaking.

haha.

but in any case i tot it was a great
night jus cos my frens were all with
me. :)

after the concert, we ended of with
our crazy night. all us musicians
went to eat tagether. not everyone
ah. but pple i noe. :) haha.

oh. dur the concert... i cant believe
rusydi actually said tht he thnk pple
hu lyk Green Day rox! hahaha.
he so funny. :) i mean. i thnk its cool
of him to say tht. but.. hmm. i wonder
wat e rest thnk?! haha.

pple thnk we're two CRAZY hardcore
GD fan tht belongs in e Idiot Club. haha.

In any case. green day rox! muahahah.

anyways.. rusydi is this j1 guy i got to
know recently. this, so far, is wht i noe abt
him: he loves green day, is crazy n is
my neigbour hu always shouts 'gol'
wen there's a football telecast on TV.

haha. coincidence perhaps? :)

Ok. now serious business.

LOVE!!! yeah. right.

haha.

Love is overrated. Vdae is superficial.

haha. yet its sweet n romantic.
argg. i neva had a great vdae b4. haha.
not tht i wnt one. but it wld be cool
to have one. :)

i cant believe all e cool romantic stuff
i heard today. lyk Izz. she got a secret
admirer. gosh. he sent her roses n
sweets at her doorstep! awww.

n den a few other pple i saw. were
carrying flowers n plastic bags full
of prezzies.

for some, its from their dearie.
awww. some of their prezzies r so
cool n sweet. very totful. it
doesnt have to be materialistic.
just a simple rose tells it all. haha.

n den today was a celeb of frenship
as well. pple getting prezzies frm
diff frens. its jus so cool how pple
actually took e effort to buy sweets
for all. haha. :)

oh. thanks to all hu gave me sweets!
:)

yeh. vdae for me is not relli much of
a celeb. firstly.. we r not spposed to
believe in it. yeh. i mean.. its a long
story.. related to religion. nvm.

but besides tht, to me vdae also is
superficial. i thnk there shld not be
ONLY one day whereby u shld celeb
love.

i noe its so called a special day n all..
but u shld also show love for the person
for everyday of ur lives. then a r/ship is
more meaningful. :)

haiz.

n for me.. my social callender can be
compared to an abandoned field full of
dying weed. haha. k. thts a bit
exaggerating.

but skool IS very draining.

n i have no luck with love.
none at all. n i don noe why.
perhaps im ugly. haha. thts y no
one wants me. ahahah.

actually its not tht im desperate to
find a bf. just tht. arrgg. it jus
is great to experience tht one day.
n hopefully before i turn 18. haha.

i thnk i jus let out a secret. haha.
there. confessions of Fahimah Azman.

sad lil bitch. haha.

yes. i can still laugh abt it. cos i have
hope n faith. :T

i guess.

n there.. vdae just ended! its 15 feb!

Promise To Go To Church On Sunday

Argggg. Church on sunday!

I just love this song.

And as i am typing this.
I just realized that the so
called newer version of
'blogger' have just created
e dictionary check for
each post.

What stupidity. I now need
to type in full words. no
more short forms. argh.
but i don care.

also e newer version of
blogger is so much uglier.
yucks.

haha.

Anyways.. today has been
a great day. Or shld i say
afternoon. haha.

We had the Vdae rehearsal in
the afternoon. it started pretty
late. but it was fun. anythng
with music.. guitars.. green day
and... hmmm... (ahem!)

its always fun.

well now the song
church on sunday is stuck in
my head. not that it is bad or
anythng. haha. but it is
just amazing to me.

I love this song. tho i don
rmb some parts of it. still e
chorus is so sweet n rocking.

This song is by the ultimate..
GREEN DAY..
n the frontman, billie joe, wrote
this song for his dearest wife
Adrianne, cos they were having
a 'rocky' marriage. They've been,
to date, married for abt 12 years.
They're great. haiz.

Its called 'church on sunday' cos
he's telling his wife to go with him
to the church on a Sunday to
'renew' their marriage vows. AWW.
so sweet. n then they will 'go out on
friday night'.

The typical sweet song.
similar to 'first date' from blink
and '2000 light yrs' from greend.

N i was 'menCHEH-CHEH' -ing
the whole today. haha. i thnk
some pple will get wht tht means.

Overall today.. new fren found.
frenships deepen.
haha. i love my class. :)

Great job for the haunted house!
- i@fun.
Also kudos to e other classes hu
made it thru all our nonsense. n
my class hu stood by all the probs.
:) :)

but i@fun was pretty much a flop.
It was so fucking hot around
the track.
There were only a few drink stalls.
The heat was melting all the ice.

Those r just MAJOR setbcks.
but worse is tht the stalls are
pretty 'elementary'. nothng
special. very sec skool carnival.
I@fun was
not FUN. the only fun prt was
prob seeing my old frens again.
haha. but it was alrite.


great job pple! :)

i have to pay 10 bucks for the tix
not sold. urgh. damn u fir!

haha.

*halo halo neighbour!
right opposite to me!* :)

Cruel Intentions

Everyone has a certain degree
of EVIL in them.

Some..

Are just pure evil.

I am nice in general.
hah.
Well.. I lyk to thnk that I am.
So.. I dont usually become evil.

But.. ever since the whole
"incident" I thnk tht i am.
Its not much. Just that... I
wanted to speak my mind. SO
i wrote how I felt on my blog.

Is that so much so evil n mean?

I can be straightforward wen i
want to.
but in general im pretty secretive.
n hide my feelings.

But. I just had to say it. It was my
cause.
Hrm. But he seems ok abt wat I
wrote.
Is he oblivious or ignorant?

either way..

wat matters is wat I wrote. So i
made an aim.
he seemed ok with me. n its true
tht he doesnt insult me. so y must
i do the same.

haiz.
my aim basically is to say sorry.
tats it.

den its over.
i can laugh abt it all over again.

My cruel intentions.
U are made to become a parody.

I don wan to be a hypocrite.
but if u wanna noe.. i am neutral.
I've never been ur good fren.
sorry.
i mean.. ur jus a fren la.

haha. but u colour up my life.
make me laugh.
perhaps in a bad way... but
still.. i laugh.

I shall move Away
from this topic..

This is about another person.
(*shall not be named*) =

So..

Throughout today I was in
complete bliss.
COS..
I'm just so happy i tok to u.
I realised that im so fortunate
to get to know u.

Yep. But sometimes my bubble
bursts.
N im back to reality.
I realise... U don feel e same way
for me.

U react with other girls the same
way as u do with me.
U don treat me lyk im special 2 u.

Yet..

I feel happy wen i see u.
I made a fool out of myself in front
of u.
Yet.
Im glad ur there.

I found my inspiration.

Perhaps

FEBRUARY IS HERE!!!

Not that Im happy about it.
Or anything lyk tht.
Even more so..
I'm so stressed about it.

argghh.

haha.

It's just that.
Every month that pass..

We get older.

I get nearer n nearer to A levels!

I'm not meant to handle
the pressure. cos im too
relaxed.

yet deep down i want to excel.

arggh.

"I've got no motivation.
Where is my motivation?"
-- Green Day

Yes. everythng i do i relate it
to them. They are my life!
I love them! haha.

Well certain thngs have taken
a turn. this feb.. for me.

Haha. certain happiness.

1. I got thru the opening ceremony.
-- it was a wonderful exp.
-- tho tiring.
-- i will miss it. im glad i got to noe
e pple involved.

2. We toked all thru e night.
-- we couldnt put down e phone
-- even when we wanted to
-- haha. we strted our nice,
real conversation. again.

3. I wonder if u do read my blog.
-- I hope not. (half-heartedly)
-- I think u will noe tht im toking
abt u.

4. I wonder if u do noe.. n if u do feel.
-- the same way?

5. Yes. Feb ushers in.. the EMO trend
back again for me.
-- haha. :T

I have alot of things that I actually wish
to express. But some i cant.

Cos Im speechless n redundant.

Cos even tho I say it.. its useless.
I might as well just keep our
memories as part of somethng
etched in my mind for a long
time.

Omg.

U r so clueless.
U dont noe anythng.
Should I tell you?
I'm too scared.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.